(Early Evening) Late Night Thoughts

This has been a weird week for ome, and a really weird weekend, especially from inside my own mind. I miss my mother, terribly, more than I have in months. I wish she were here, so that I could reach out and talk to her, try to sort out what’s happening to me. In lieu of that, I’ve spent a lot of time sitting and watching Skittles asleep on my lap, and thinking.

I just got an e-mail (well, a couple of days ago, but I just opened it) from my college alumnae association. It linked to a slideshow of the college campus in the winter, and while snow always looks prettier in pictures than it is in real life, I miss snow, and its brightness. For that matter, I miss winter in L.A. too, where it’s only mildly cool, and the palm trees are decorated with white lights wrapped around their trunks. I wonder if I have a touch of seasonal affective disorder… the gray mornings and winter chill are starting to get to me, and I’m counting down the days to the solstice, because even though there’s still a lot of winter to go, at least after the winter solstice, the days will start getting longer again. (It’s tomorrow, thank the deities.)

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6 thoughts on “(Early Evening) Late Night Thoughts

  1. Sorry to hear that you aren’t feeling better these days. The long nights and grey days can affect anyone, and I hope that the arrival of the solstice will help bring you back to what you were. I can’t imagine what it would be like to lose my mother, not yet. Her cat had to be put down Friday and I hadn’t even seen him in a year and I can’t remember the last time I cried that much.

  2. Thanks, Jinx. I am feeling better this morning, so I’m hoping the worst of it’s over by now. I’m sorry to hear about your mother’s cat–it’s so hard to lose a beloved family pet.

  3. I’m sending you peace and Christmas cheer.

    Mostly unavoidable for many of us, the holidays become a time of soul-searching and reminiscing, whether we mourn people or pets no longer here to share it with us, or long for the Christmas’ of childhood, so much different than they are after we’re all grown up.

    Take the quiet time you need, but I bet your mom would want you to also make merry and enjoy the holidays and the new memories in the making.

    And give that cat a pet for me. : )

    Jinx — so sorry to hear your family lost a pet. I lost my two very old cats, one in 2006, one in 2007, and I miss them every day.

    I was out at Petco yesterday and there were some cats and kittens in the front of the store for adoption. I can’t get another cat right now since I have rescue dogs that can’t be trusted around cats, but just petting those sweet little faces did my heart good.

    Happy Holidays to both of you,

    Em

  4. I’m sorry to hear you’re not feeling good. I have the same issue with winter; as soon as the sun starts setting earlier, I start getting all mush and crazy. Luckily this year it’s not so bad, but winter ain’t over yet!

    I’m sorry you miss your mom. I’m not sure what to say, because I don’t think there’s anything that could possibly be comforting enough. I’m here if you need me. You have my email address. I’m more than willing to lend an ear.

    I hope you have a happy and relaxing holiday.

    Hugs and love to you.

  5. I really think this area is more affected by SAD than many other more likely areas. We don’t get a lot of snow, so no reflective light, we do get a lot of cloudy dreary days that are just uncomfortable, and the lifestyle of the area doesn’t promote outdoor activities. You have to be pro active and use light a lot in your home and when the sun is out, change your routine to get the most of it. Hanging with other people also seems to help. I think it’s that social need of humans. Keep the faith, things will improve! See you at Starbucks!

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