Frustrations with Twilight and “The Girl in the dark alleyway.”

So, I’m reading, or rather listening to, Twilight very slowly, at least by my standards. If I’d had the book in my hand, I’m sure I’d have finished it the first night. It is engaging. As it is, I’m not quite halfway through, and starting to get frustrated with Bella, in part because she actually reminds me of me, but it’s like a reading about a funhouse caricature of me. I mean, really, can anyone be as clumsy as Bella is? I’m a klutz myself, and tend to trip a lot, but I don’t live my life in fear like she does. And speaking of, way to tell and not show, Stephenie Meyer. 

Also, I’m at the part of the book in which Edward is following Bella around and making sure that she doesn’t get killed, which is fine as far as it goes, but it reads a bit like Meyer was just trying to figure out different ways to put Bella in danger so that Edward could save her. The car on ice bit, that was fine. That worked very well in the story. But I groaned as Bella started walking around the wrong part of Port Angeles, because I knew exactly what was going to happen, and it did. No surprises there. I mean, honestly, if I had a dollar every time I got lost alone someplace, or had an uncomfortable encounter with a strange group of guys on the street, I’d have a nice little bundle of money. Enough to go buy a sweater, or something (keeping in mind that I buy the majority of my clothes at Target). But I’ve never needed to be saved by a vampire in a silver Volvo. Which, considering I don’t know any, is probably a good thing.

Look, Joss Whedon created Buffy the Vampire Slayer exactly because of these kind of situations in horror movies. Girl wanders around by herself, girl gets lost, then, depending on the kind of movie, girl gets killed, or girl gets saved from certain doom by the romantic hero in the nick of time. They’re so overused, they’re cliché, and the readers know, going into them, exactly what’s going to happen.

Can’t we all take a vow, as writers, right now, never to let that scene play out in our writing. I think that if we do, we just might save a future generation of readers from having to throw our books against the wall.


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